Friday, January 29, 2010


My Little Life


1. Would you ever vacation alone?
Today, I would probably say HECK YEAH.. but, in all honesty, I dont think it would be as fun as going with someone else. So, that would probably be a no. I love sharing my experiences with other people. ESPECIALLY my loved ones! I look forward to adventures in Florida with my parents when my hubby is deployed. Something to pass the time and fill all of our lives and hearts with great memories.

2. Do you go the speed limit?
I plead the fifth.

3. Why did you start blogging/following blogs?
I think I started following shortly after I gave birth to my son in Nov. 07. Someone on my November 2007 board had posted a bunch of links to blogs she had been reading and I was hooked. Now I just click on people's lists and read interesting things. I started my blog to document my life. It is good to go back and read things that dont stay in my mind!

4. Where do you shop for yourself?
I dont. Seriously. I hate shopping for myself. I DID buy some Lands End stuff for myself at Sears after Christmas. I have gotten a couple of things at Kohls Last March and some undergarments at Lane Bryant over a year ago. Sometimes I get a shirt here and there but they always end up with a hole in them or something. It is ridiculous how that works out. FINALLY buy myself something and WHAM-O... ruined. In a matter of days. I will be going to a Ball in April which means I am going to have to dress up which I am SO dreading shopping for. I have ridiculous wide feet.. and I am frumpy. I hope I lose some weight and look better than I do now by the time the ball arrives!

5. What was the song that you danced your first dance with your spouse to at your wedding...or...what song would you like your first dance to be to?
This was the first song that had come to my mind when the wedding planner had called to ask what we were going to dance to. We hadnt initially intended on any dancing. We had a small wedding on the north shore in Hawaii and for having moved out to Hawaii to be with him.... I thought this was pretty fitting, being in a whole new culture and environment outside my comfort zone....



So yeah, I have a lot of updating to do... who do you want me to start with?!?!?

I will start with Sydney since she has the oldest update... nothing major to report at all (Can you believe it?!) Although I have to still schedule her appointment to rule out/diagnose Central Auditory Processing Disorder. Mayve I should get off here and do that! Oh wait, they are probably on lunch. So... She had her follow up with her cardiologist.... Dr. Sara Ford at Hasbro. She is incredible. If you ever need a pediatric cardiologist, I totally recommend her. She is so easy going and HUMAN! HAHA! Great bedside manner. Totally easy to talk to. Everything went well for Sydney. Of course they could still hear her VSD (Ventricular Septal Defect = Murmur)(it will probably not ever close) and her WPW (Wolff Parkinson White Syndrome = Tachycardia, bad electrical pathway in the heart) which was officially cured in November 2008. Since she has gone this long since her ablation, she should be OK! I expressed my concerns about what would happen as she grows and hits puberty and what not and the doctor seemed very confident that everything will be OK! (but I am not going to be ignorant and assume that it is 100% true because I know there is still a percentage of it coming back) So, since I dont feel comfortable being discharged from cardiology and just have her cardiac stuff taken care of by the pediatrician (or whatever we happen to see at the Naval Clinic) she said COME BACK IN 2 YEARS! although, we wont be here. SO, She was able to give me the name of a friend of hers who is a pediatric cardiologist in Florida. So, all is well with Sydneys heart! (Although the other night, WEDNESDAY she told me her heart did a little jiggle.... oh boy. Guess I should write that on a calendar.)

ASHLEY: She had her appointment with the Pediatric Endocrinologist at Hasbro on Wednesday. Her thyroid is definitely "swollen" but he would not call it "enlarged". It is soft and palpable which means that there is no goiter present. All of her TSH levels were within normal limits (Thyroid Stimulating Hormone) but the Naval Clinic did not complete a Thyroid Antibody test. So, she had to have that drawn by the Hasbro lab and we will find out in about a week the results of that. Should they be negative then we are good to go. If they come back positive, Ashley will have to have her thyroid levels drawn at least every year and we will just wait until her hormone levels are out of whack. Which would mean she would probably have the Hashimoto's Disease that I have. There is one big reason as to why her thyroid would be enlarged. It is often a precursor to puberty! *WHAT*... OH LORD.... Seriously...........................................

So... yeah.... the doctor had two students with him and they were also great. I dont mind students. Someone has to be their teacher.... and now not only is Sydney a teacher... now Ashley was. There are no physical signs of puberty yet! WHEW! BUT they told me that I was late to start... but that doesnt mean anything because kids now are starting so much earlier. Ashley was quite embarrassed that the doc had to check her parts for signs. It was pretty amazing to see how everythign worked at the pediatric endocrinologist. They measure the height 3 times! That is routine! They have to be EXACT when kids might have a hormonal problem! OH, and ... HAHAHA... When I went with Sydney to her neurologist many eons ago now, The doc measured my head because Sydney's head had measured big! Well... they found out why! .... Genetics.... Sydney has her momma's big potato head... so, because I have thyroid disease (Hashimotos Thyroiditis) the doc at one point reached over and felt my thyroid!! L O L... GLAD I can be so helpful! GOOD NEWS... he did NOT feel a goiter! LOL!
So, we will wait it out about a week and see what this blood lab shows.

After the appointment, I got Ashley a McFlurry at McDonalds... and they made the thing with the Shake ice cream! She was not happy. I was trying to give her something to enjoy after a less than enjoyable appointment and they made it with the SHAKE?!?!?!!? BOO ON MCDONALDS!

I have started the biggest loser challenge here on base. I will be weighing in on Mondays. My starting weight was 204. I hope to have at least a 2 lb weight loss on monday. I have been trying to make better choices with my eating. Eating my required fruits and veggies. Exercising regularly. I will be keeping you all posted on my progress! OH, and I have not eaten fast food in over a week which I think is a world record for me!

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend. IT IS FREEZING here today and the kids had a 90 minute delay for school because the wind had knocked power out. All the toys and garbage cans are blowing around my backyard. It is loud!

Saturday, January 23, 2010

nearly 2 days late, nearly 2 dollars short... Five Question Friday

My Little Life

1. What is better, growing old with out money or dying young and wealthy?
I would rather grow old without money.... I want a long life, the life experiences are priceless and no amount of money could take those experiences away from me!
(oh, and im already growing old with little money!)

2. Who takes out the garbage at your house?
We both do. Usually he takes it to the curb and to the can when it fills inside, but we both do. Whoever gets around to it first.

3. Have you ever had the same dream many times?
I have had eerily similar dreams. I have not had them in a long time but they always involved tornadoes. I was told by a dream analysis class that it had to do with emotions. Oh, and it didnt help me that I used to have those dreams when I had to move to Tornado Alley for a year! We survived though!

4. Can you play a musical instrument?
In high school I played clarinet. I have children who are learning instruments now. I will leave it to them to master it now!

5. If you owned your own store, what would you sell?
I would probably have a scrapbook store.... so that maybe once in a blue moon I would be able to get around to doing some scrapbooking!

Dont forget to Join up with Mama M. On fridays for her five question friday! (and not nearly on a sunday morning!)

Friday, January 15, 2010

Five Question Friday! POSSIBLE giveaway

My Little Life
HEY ALL! I AM SOOOOOOOO Happy that it is FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!! Mama M is once again hosting her weekly Five Question Friday and this time, if she can break 100 people, it might be a GIVEAWAY!!!!!!!! So, hop on over and get your butt in gear, it is a NEW year!!! NEW YOU... get that butt moving!!! Share YOUR five answers with the world!!!!!

Here it goes...

1. Worst trouble you ever got into as a teenager?
Oh gosh... hmm.... I dont think I ever really got in to trouble, at least not that I can recall. I never skipped school, never had detention, never got arrested. Hmm... Oh there was one pathetic fight at school I think in my freshman year. Maybe sophomore. Obviously not too significant to me because I cant remember. I didnt get suspended or anything though.

2. Are you a morning person or a night person?
I love the NIGHT! I am able to accomplish so much more. The mornings are tough. I hate morning routines of getting sluggish kids out the door. Waking the sleeping 2 year old to bring the sluggish kids to school. I like the night when all is quiet and I can just veg out! LOL!

3. Are you a one-handed or a two-handed Texter?
I can do it with 2 hands on my phone! I am NEW to texting. IS being one handed much more noble?! If so, I must accomplish that! (not really!)

4. Democrat, Republican, or Independent..or maybe even Green Party (whatever that is).
Most "quizzes" I take say I am more liberal (democrat) but I feel I am much more conservative in my beliefs. I think the quizzes were rigged to try and get me to vote Democrat. I did NOT vote democrat. FYI. I feel I am a republican.

5. Are you a pet person
It is a love hate relationship. I LOVE my doggies. I HATE their fur. One of our doggies is very vocal which can be super annoying but I feel he is getting better. HE will be 1 at the end of March so I know we have 1+ years of him still being a puppy. They bring so much dust and dirt in the house and FUR... Any recommendations for Air Cleaners?!?! HELP Me get this dust out!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Mom knows best....

I sometimes question how well I know my children. I am sure I do not know them as much as I would like to know them.... I always get worried because I dont know what they are wearing everyday and GOD FORBID something happens to them, how would I know what to tell the police?
I would look like a BAD PARENT if I dont know! UGH.
I would stumble on my words trying to recall where their birth marks or scars are. This is something I feel I need to write down and photograph. Having 4 children, these things can get jumbled up!
So... how well do I know my children??? How do I know "Mom knows Best"?
Well... yesterday Ashley and Sydney had a dentist appointment. Ashley was a bit disgruntled when she came out... JUST like her mother. The novocaine really throws her for a loop. She is really bothered by it. JUST like her MOTHER. Anyways. As she was sitting waiting for her sister to be done, she was sitting next to me with a HUGE sulk on her face. (is sulk a word?) I felt bad because I know exactly how she is feeling. MISERABLE. Well. Then she swallowed. AND OH MY LORD... What did I SEE?!
is it HUGE because she is a bean pole?
What is it?
IT HAS to be her thyroid.
She is only 9.
Why would she have a huge thyroid?
Maybe it is from the tick bites she had?
Could the tick bites enlarge her thyroid?
It is in the lymph system, so why not?
Where is Sydney?
I need to compare the two.
How long has it been like this?
I am a bad mom, why didnt I notice this before?
Was it like this last week?
Last month?
Oh, how much longer before Sydney comes out?
::::Worst case scenario runs through my mind:::::::
::::And again:::::
::::And again:::::
I need to make an appointment.
I cant make the appointment with her listening.
She will freak.
What is wrong with my kid?
OH PLEASE I CANT DEAL with something else.
PLEASE let it be simple.
ahh.... the wonders of the mind of a mother.
I made the appointment.
I scheduled it for Today.
That was another drama scene trying to get my kid to a simple appointment without having a track of hurdles to get over to get there.
We get to the appointment.
More Drama because I have the 2 littles with me.
Doc comes in.
Doesnt believe this is tick related as nothing came back from them.
Thyroid definitely enlarged.
Not astronomical but surely enlarged.
NOT common in a child this age.
Genetic predisposition doesnt make it impossible.
I have Hashimoto's.
Did I give my kid something?
I know genes are the inner workings of everything but DEAR GOD.. I brought this baby in the world so THIS IS MY FAULT.
Blood work.
should be back tomorrow.
Thyroid panel and blood count.
I hope this is "simple"
but whatever is in the stars we shall deal with.....

.....update tomorrow......


Friday, January 8, 2010

The booby saga...

Thank you everyone for your prayers and well wishes...
Today I had the ultrasound and everything looked ok. It looked muscular and not a lump or mass of any sorts.
I still have my annual grand opening* this week so, I will get a seperate opinion on the matter next week.
Thank you again!

*gynecological appointment

With fingers Crossed....

Sydney's neurologist told us that she believes Sydney has grown out of her Panayiotopoulos Syndrome.
I think I have mentioned before that the neurologist believes Sydney did have this condition but the electrophysiologist has questioned it and believed all the spells Sydney ws having were from her Wolff Parkinson White Syndrome .
Will we ever know for sure? Probably not. Was there activity on her EEG's... I guess that would be a yes. Benign Occipital stuff. Dont ask me exactly what it means because in all honesty, I dont know. I do know that I think (LOL) it is in the back of the head down low where some of the activity seen on her EEG was occurring.
Sydney has NOT been complaining of headaches as she usually did which we believe had a lot to do with the complete chaos in her classroom last year. Her teacher this year is absolutely incredible and is ON TOP of Sydney like flies on shit. Sydney really enjoys school and is doing incredible. She has caught up from the deficit she experienced from her crappy classroom last year. She loves math and just everything about school.
Now.... the current recommendations that the neurologist does have....
*go to another ENT and have her tonsils and adenoids looked at and hopefully removed.
---- this is due to her evaluation with the speech and hearing people. She seems to have a lisp on her S and her Z sounds which would not be developmental at her age right now. So, the neurologist wants this to be something the school does address with some speech stuff.
---- Also, back in early november 2007 (when I was ginormously pregnant with CJ) Sydney had a sleep study and it did show some "minor" apnea stuff.
---- Sydney continues to be a mouth breather and pushes her tongue forward in her mouth (even though there is also a spacer there)
---- The last ENT we had gone to told me Sydney had poor nasal hygiene and recommended a sweat test ... OK... great... That solves WHAT?!!?!? then sends us away with some medicine. Awesome. That was not the 1st medication pushing ENT we went to. And a SWEAT test? She has NEVER exhibited ANY symptoms for Cystic Fibrosis and me and Chris went to genetic counseling and there was NO WAY we were carriers for it.

*We need to go back to the audiologist and have CAPD ruled out/in.... Still a questions as Sydney has issues with her working memory and comprehension. I thought after speech and hearing appointment she had "passed" with "flying colors" the "only one who ever scored 100% on a test she had administered".... but, the report is different. there are areas to address. (Central Auditory Processing Disorder) This seems to be something that her neurologist, pediatrican believe will be the case vs. the ADHD NOS she got on her psychological evaluation which can present similar to the CAPD.

*The neurologist also wants the school to do some occupational therapy for Sydney and her issues with pencil pressure and not being aware of her muscle strength. Tone issues or something.

So, all in all it was a good and informative appointment.

On Martin Luther King Jr. day we go to the Cardiologist to check up on her WPW. (Wolff Parkinson White)... Thankfully Chris will be able to go to this appointment. We do not want her released from Cardiology because we have read many personal stories of children with WPW and IT COMES BACK..... Scary. And of course the way Sydney's was "cured" was the "less reliable" and has more of a percentage of reoccuring. I don't know if there is a solid time frame for this reoccurance.. but, we dont want to take any chances either. Especially with her history of pulling crazy things out of the bag in regards to her medical history.

Like her mother she is a Zebra in a pack of horses....

Five Question Friday

My Little Life
Wow Mama M!! You are SO good at keeping up with the 5QF! I am impressed!!! So, here we go!!! Dont forget to join in the fun!

1. What's your "comfort food"?
Look at me! Cant you tell ALL foods comfort me?!?!?! In all seriousness, I love going out to eat and that is comforting! HA! As long as nobody at the table is SCREAMING. I DO have cravings for french fries, hot... crispy and SALTY! YUM! if it has to be sweet... I totally love a good piece of cheesecake!

2. Do you send Thank You's (handwritten or email)?
I try to remember to send them via regular mail but, I dont typically write them. I like to do the photo thank you cards from walmart. Then I mail those out.

3. If you had to be trapped in a TV show for a month, which show would you choose?
Good lord... I dont know. How bout HOUSE. That would be a fun one!

4. What is your favorite online recipe site?
hands down

5. If you had to choose: "Friends" or "Seinfeld"?
Neither. Never got in to either one. I guess Friends would be more of my pace though.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

What a pain in the butt boob

For a couple of weeks not I have been having some pain in my left breast. I am starting to think that every time I have a twinge of pain in my body I need to put it on a calendar in case I have to make an appointment for it. I certainly look like an idiot when I cant exactly pinpoint when an issue started. It might also have to do with the fact I also have to keep track of 4 kids aches and pains too.
Anyways, back to the boob. I thought maybe I had injured it while climbing under Kiley's bed in search of her Wall-E game for her leapster. Or, maybe CJ had squished it in one of his attempts to climb me in the middle of a tantrum. I had been searching for lumps to make sure the pain was not from some scary C word. I couldnt find any "lumps"... I guess I dont know exactly what I am looking for because the doc didnt take long today to find a "lump" that could be "a cyst or blocked duct" .... so, tomorrow I get to go in for an ultrasound to try and rule things out. I have to admit that I am scared. I was hoping to go in today and have them just find something muscular and send me out with the Navy favorite of Vitamin M* and be done with it. But no. I guess my body has other ideas. I feel like a decrepit old person. Between the issues with my right leg which are not resolved and I have to schedule physical therapy for. The constant nagging of my symptoms from my Hashimoto's disease (hypothyroid) and NOW THIS..... I CANT stand it. Next week is my annual GYN grand opening appointment. Maybe he will have some more insight in to this problem too. I think it stems from getting my tubes tied but who am I? Oh, and I had an issue in the same breast back in 2005/2006 when we were living in Texas. Dont know where that history went to.... my record looked pretty puny today... So, Who knows. I dont think they saw anything spectacular back then either. We will see. Tomorrow, boob probing. Oh, and for the record, I have not nursed my son since April of last year... but maybe this is in correlation to my menstrual cycle..... Dont know. So, if you can, please keep my in your prayers that this is something benign.... Thank you.


Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Monday, January 4, 2010

The little things...

I was blog hopping and stumbled upon Susie and her "little things" ....
It is often the hurried lives we live that often make us not embrace the "little things"... sometimes these "little things" can often be perceived as something frustrating or bothersome... but when you really stop and think about it... it is something important...


*when it isnt even 5am and my 5 year old little girl quietly climbs over the gate in the hallway without hurting herself... and climbs in to bed with me. Warm and cozy, taking up most of my 1/2 of the bed.... perfect.

*my 5 year old won't fall back asleep at not even 5am. She wants something to eat and to watch The Little Mermaid on The Disney Channel... with LOTS of volume. I can hear her little teeth crunching her cinnamon toast crunch.... then she wants a drink... even though it is tough at almost 5 am... she is so innocent and peaceful. And her face is so sweet and fresh. Even though it is irritating to be up so early, it is a special time.

*When daddy gets up to go to work, I grab my still awake 5 year old and bring her back to bed with me. She snuggles, and wriggles, and puts her arm over my back. She nuzzles her head in to my neck and I can hear her sweet breathing. And her little conversations about nothing much at all. It is now past 6am. It is OK though. This is a quiet, special time.... and she will only be "just 5 years old" now and never again.... and it is perfect.

So, do you have any "little things" that can often be overlooked....

One more for good measure...

*while cleaning out the couch cushions looking for that missing Leapster game... even though I KNOW I have looked there... and I know my effort will be fruitless.... my son finds a piece of a dog treat and starts running through the house calling "Rosa" and "Hudson" as best as a newly 2 year old can.... and the sweet thrill of victory when he was able to hand off to one of the eager pups.

Friday, January 1, 2010

A new year.... huge changes...

Notes: My oldest daughter will be 10, Sydney will be 8 1/2, Kiley will be 5 and CJ will be 2 1/2. My oldest 2 have very strong bonds with their grandparents and given the opportunity to move near grandma and grandpa, they would jump regardless of anything else. My youngest do not have the same bonds with the grandparents as the older 2 because we have lived far from them for the most part of their lives. I would love to foster a stronger bond for them.
My mother's health has not been as good as we would like. I would like to take the time to share with her. We are praying for good things to happen for her... It kills my parents to be away from the kiddos and how they ended up in Florida instead of RI was a huge mish mosh of a mess because of my grandmother passing and selling the house. anyways. I wouldnt want to regret not taking the time to be near my parents when the opportunity arose....
My parents just closed on a house in the middle of December so they are in Florida to stay.
They have a close knit community at their church which I know would be welcoming of me and my children. We spent Thanksgiving with that community.

**I will update more notes as I think of them! or anyone asks anything to help them decide what THEY would do in this situation!

Well, here we are... it is 2010. A new decade.
Last decade was definitely a memorable one. We rang in the year 2000 on the patio of some good friends of ours in Hawaii. We were some of the lucky ones and our husbands were not out to sea on that memorable New Years eve where we all did not quite know what was going to happen. You know... all the Y2K hype. I have to admit... it really got me nervous thinking about all the doom and gloom that some people (aka ME) were anticipating. I was hugely pregnant with my first born. There were crazy fireworks being lit off in all directions. I dont know how many of them were legal.... Wouldnt you know... on the morning of January 1st 2000.... all my silly little flowers I had growing in pots on OUR patio were all wilted and dead! I think all the firework smoke got to them! Oh, and I can tell you now... my almost 10 year old daughter HATES fireworks!!! HATES them. She HAS to cover her ears to this day! I think she was severely damaged by all of those loud, probably not legal, fireworks people were lighting off!

Anyways.... 10 years later... I can NOT believe it!!!! It certainly has a way of making a person feel MUCH older.

We spent the night at our next door neighbors house who we have lived next to (shared walls) since we moved here to Connecticut in June of 2006. This year... it will all end.

Our neighbor will be retiring from the Navy in June. And then, 1 month later my husband will be deploying to Diego Garcia. For a YEAR. That is a long time to be seperated from a loved one. Dont get me wrong... we are certainly counting out blessings that he is not (rather, should not... anything can change in an instant with th military) going to Iraq or Afghanistan for 16 months. So, it is a blessing he was able to be selected for these orders.

The big dilemma is... what do I do??? I get so panicked when I think of the whole aspect of ALONE... with 4 kids.... I have several options for things I can do. I do not know what all the stipulations are because it is the Navy... and there are so many different things that come in to play.

Option #1... I can stay here in CT. The kids could complete another year at their current schools... there would not be a need for changes in doctors/dentists/sports/school... you know. Status quo. They have a routine here. They have friends (although many of their friends do move because they go to school with a whole bunch of other Navy brats) so... their friends change all the time. Regardless. Their neighbors change. Regardless. There are alot of tides of change being a military family. Sydney has many different docs here but, in all honesty... I dont know how much longer she will be needing them. I wont put all my eggs in that basket though because Sydney is certainly a Zebra in a field of horses. Nothing would change... I would just be here in Connecticut with some decent friends. Some of my good friends will be moving at the same time we have to make our changes. These friends being some of the most reliable ones. The ones I can call on in an instant. Other friends have many other commitments. Oh, and we cant forget that fact that I have a hard time asking people for help. I feel that the kids are mine, they are my responsibility. And if I need a break, I dont have the $$$ to be paying for babysitters. Can you imagine trying to figure out Christmas shopping with 4 kids and nobody to depend on?! I mean, I could PAY someone... but that is money I would probably have allotted for that big Guitar Set, Train Table, DSi, Electric Guitar... you know.
I think a million steps ahead of myself. I just know that I would feel like a burden asking anyone for help. It is just in my nature. It is who I am. Nobody else birthed these children, they are my responsibility. And I have a hard time trusting people outside my immediate family. Not that anyone would do a bad job caring for them, I just think I am the one who knows how to care for them best.

Option 2. I could move to Florida and be near my family. Not have to worry about shoveling snow. Not have to worry about who I could call in the middle of the night should an emergency arise. Not have to worry about who would help me out because I am barfing my guts out or something incredible like that. I would be able to spend a year near my parents that I would not have had the opportunity to have any other way. And then, after the year, go on our merry way. Reunited with my husband and living in another place. The kids love spending time with my parents.

Option 3. Move near Ali who is ready to move us in her house! LOL!

Option 4. Good luck, I have no idea what I would do.

Of course every option has its pros and cons and I keep playing them over and over... and If I do move, I may have to pack our house up on my own. Dont know if the Navy would move us only to move us again in a year.

I dont know. I dont know. I dont know...
2010 will NOT be an easy year... It isnt something I look forward to. This has to be one of the toughest decisions I have to make.... I have to make the BEST decision for myself and my children. I have to be a GOOD parent... and a GOOD parent could be here... or it could be there... I dont know. So many different things define a GOOD parent. And can I be a GOOD parent without many breaks for MYSELF.
I dont know.