Monday, October 26, 2009

I get anxious when...

Recently I have been feeling anxious and probably need to follow up with the doctor. It seems to be PMS related (I know TMI) .... but here are some things that bring the anxiety on full force...

*Living paycheck to paycheck and feeling like payday will never come....
*Not having a job of my own to contribute to the house
*being late for an important date
*worrying about where we will be moving in 8 months or so
*a full schedule
*not knowing exactly what I am supposed to be doing with Sydney and all her recent evaluations and the school. Which way is up?
*watching my Sydney work her butt off during soccer, trying just as hard if not harder than her peers.. and playing a total of 7 minutes of a game.
*the incredible mess this house becomes
*van woes that need to be un-woe'd
*Dishes in the sink
*laundry in the bedroom waiting to be folded
*thinking of living here another whole year without my husband
*having to find new doctors for Sydney when we move
*my son fighting me because he can... all the time (at almost 2!)
*how cr%ppy halloween will be for my son since he is allergic to peanuts. Karma really got me on that one.
*Eczema and fighting lotion.
*the thought of freezing cold temperatures
*not having time for myself.
*wanting to give my kids the world and everything they want.
*not being able to do the above.
*the kids NOT being grateful for the fact I (we) bend over backwards for them (something they will not understand until they are grown.)
*the fact I have not worked in over 6 years. That gets me down.
*being eligible for WIC when my husband has been in the Navy on active duty for 15 years.
*swine flu

I could go on and on about the misery... I am sure many people are feeling the crunch of the times...

I am SO SO SO grateful for...
*being able to be home for my kids.
*I have a vehicle. It is running. I can put gas in it when I need to.
*my parents making it possible for us to visit them for Thanksgiving. EVEN getting a trip to Disney World!
*I will get to see the faces of my children at Disney World... PRICELESS.
*My husband has a steady job and it more than provides for our needs.
*The ability to see the world and experience life in different places.
*my children are healthy.
*we have(mediocre) health coverage.
*We have a roof over our heads and we have plenty of bedrooms for everyone.
*the generosity of people we know and people we dont know.
*free snow boots for our children. Given anonymously.
*reduced and free school lunch.
*Turkey Dinner and Christmas gifts for the children given anonymously by generous people.
*My daughters awesome doctors.
*my children are eager to learn new things and be active and fit.
*awesome friends and family.
*finding joy in the small things. AND the big things.
*having a full schedule.
*knowing that everything always seems to work out. No matter what the outcome.

Just a puddle of brain thoughts.... Hope you all enjoy the last week of October... 2nd Brrrrrr month... 2 to go... then we get in the misery of the new year fridged temps!!!!!!!

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